Hello again my lovely readers; I am back again with another post in my Make Your Own Happiness series! I am so ecstatic that everyone was pleased with my last post, as I certainly was as well. So, I will be continuing this series as I have an innumerable amount of ideas (but don’t worry, I still have lots of other topics floating around that I will be getting to in the coming weeks!)
Today’s topic is something that I think a majority of people see as a cliche or as a thing that only “happy people” say, and that is “Well, just look on the bright side.” And while this quick quip can be misused towards someone who is struggling, I feel that there is validity to the statement. By just inserting this change of mindset into small and simple moments in your life, it can really have an exponential positive impact on your life! Still, I can see that the oversimplified figure of speech can be quite daunting when analyzed–how does someone look on the bright side? That is why I am here today! Here are five tips to get you thinking in a more encouraging mindset and how that will assist your daily life!
“‘Well, just look on the bright side.’ It isn’t always that simple.”
Controlling Your Reaction
- I briefly touched on this during last week’s post, but I feel it always bears repeating. In addition, I have a personal story to add about how I was able to implement this into a situation in my own day to day activities. What I mean by “controlling your reaction”, I mean taking what happens to your or events that occur in your life and approaching them with a more positive mindset. Earlier this week, the unfortunate problem came about that my internet went out. Now, this is not a huge deal for most people; at most it is a small annoyance. But, I do all of my school work (high school and college level) online, started work with a new job, run three clubs, apply to all my scholarships, man my blog, and more all because of the wonder of the internet. As someone who meticulously plans their day to the tee and lives and breathes productivity, having a knock back of being able to do nothing on my checklist (even for just a day) seemed detrimental. But, I had to take a deep breath, realize that it was out of my power to do anything about the broken internet, and decide to have a chill day. In the end, I felt much better by the day’s closing, having caught up on some much needed sleep and gotten re-inspired with my art and some upcoming projects. What could have easily been me spiraling out of control, I instead chose to take it as a positive. That’s the main message: You can’t choose what happens to you, but only YOU can control if you react negatively or positively. It’s always a good idea to take 5 seconds, breathe in and out, and then react with a level and calm demeanor.
You can’t choose what happens to you, but only YOU can control if you react negatively or positively.
The Positive Wheel
- This goes hand-in-hand with the first tip, but it is something I find extremely effective. It is more than simple to have a negative thought towards yourself or have someone treat you in a non-constructive manner and then have that spiral into ruining your whole day. One wrong hair out of place, bad angle in the mirror, or mistake at the workplace or class can have us running for the hills in our heads! It is a vicious cycle to break out of. So, I have a system–The Positive Wheel. When I think about something positive about myself or someone else, I will then think of something to add to that, and then another aspect to add to that, until it is a full fledged wheel of positivity in my head! For example, if someone is wearing a shirt I like, I will think about how cool their shirt is, then ponder on how cool it is we get to choose the clothes that make us happy, then think about how rad my outfit is, and how I’m glad it is the temperature it is so I can wear this special sweater. It is just adding to one positive thought to create a whole wheel of positive. In addition, if I think a negative thought, I recognize it, but then try to spin it in a positive way. For example, if I give a wrong answer to a question in class, I will then know what to say next time and be able to congratulate the person who did get the question right. Believe it or not: 40% of our happiness comes from our own mindset. Don’t believe me? Try this for just one day and see the difference it can make.
40% of our happiness comes from our own mindset.
Weed Out The Negativity
- Recently, I heard the statement “You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time around.” Now, this can be challenging, because none of us want to believe that our friends or loved ones could be contributing to our negative thoughts. We care about them, they care about us, so they must always be doing the best for us, right? Well, not necessarily. This tip was definitely challenging for me, because it caused me to really analyze the relationships I had and then led me to decide how to budget my time with my friends and loved ones. This isn’t to say drop everyone you know if they are negative! It is just to say if someone is negatively effecting your self image, try to encourage them to be more positive as well. If you both go on this journey, you can help each other! In addition, do not contribute to the self hate train. When people I was close to would start bashing themselves, I felt I had to participate and bring myself down so they would feel better. But really, that is not how self hate works. Giving negative comments to yourself is certainly not helping, and could be hurting you and them. It will show them that this behavior is okay and continue a terrible cycle of feeling poorly about yourself and the world. If someone refuses to change their ways and it is hurting you and your progress, try to spend a little less time with them or talking to them. Start with 30 minutes, then an hour, and see if things change. Finally, continue to feed positive comments towards those around you, and become closer to those who challenge you and make you a better person. The change could be extraordinary for all of you!
“You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time around.”
Everything is a success or a lesson
- This is a riff off of “everything happens for a reason.” I do believe that happens for a reason, but sometimes that still isn’t helpful. Yes, it has happened, but how can I use this event to make my life better? So, I like to think of it as “Everything is a success or a lesson.” Got an A on a test? Success! Got a C on a test? See if you can study smarter or ask for help from teachers or professors. Got a whole lot of chores done today? Good job! Feel like you weren’t productive? Maybe find a way to allot your time better throughout the day, and congratulate yourself for doing what you did do. Wore a white dress all day? That is quite a feat! Got a stain on your favorite shirt? Maybe it serves as a reminder to slow down a little bit or pay more attention. Sometimes, we are going to learn lessons that we do not really want to learn. Who likes to fail? Certainly not me. But, I do try to take each failure or each negative event and spin it as a positive. Like I was mentioning earlier, I was able to take the event of being unable to access internet and take it to rest and rejuvenate to make the rest of my days more productive. Did someone leave your life? Maybe it is better for your mental state in the long run. Do you have to move a long distance? It is time for a fresh start. Are you going to a college that no one else you know is going to and feel slightly terrified? Hey, me too. We can each take the lessons we learned and walk on campus ready to take over the world. Everything is a success or a lesson. Take everything that happens to you and use it to improve your life.
“You can learn something from every event.”
Each day is a new adventure
- Despite what I just said…sometimes things just happen. It may not seem like there is a just cause for that guy spilling coffee on your brand new book, getting a parking ticket one minute after your meter expired, or losing someone close to you. But, every day, every hour, every minute, and every second that passes makes us more experienced people. Maybe now we cannot see what the reason is for what happens to us. Perhaps we never will. But one thing, the simplest thing can change the course of your minute, which changes your hour, which changes your day, which changes your year, which then changes your life. That is my absolute favorite thing about life. Every day I can wake up in the morning and be a brand new person. A minute from now I could shake the hand of my new role model or give a compliment to my new best friend. Every action I take is effective someone’s perception of who I am. For me, I want to give off that positive energy. It could be that one positive action or compliment to someone could keep them afloat. Then they will make someone else happy, and then that person will effect someone else positively, and it continues to be this beautiful cycle. Each new day is this amazing day we have been gifted. What you do with that gift is your choice, so why not be positive?
Every action I take is effective someone’s perception of who I am.
That is the end of this blog post. As always, I thank you for reading and your kind words that you leave. All of your reads, likes, and comments motivate me to keep going. My main goal in this blog (and in my life in general) is to try and be a beacon of light in this generation. Things can always turn around, no matter what is happening.
Again, if you have suggestions, please leave them in the comments or contact me! I love suggestions and want to know what you want to read. All of your tips and positive mantras will always be read with an open mind, as I love hearing from other people.
Until next time, look towards the sky. Even in the darkest of times, the stars will always shine.